


Vertically Challenged

by sariane



Category: Captain Marvel (Marvel), Marvel 616
Genre: Comic Book Science, Crack, Cute Kids, De-Aged, Gen, fluff without romance i guess
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-07-29
Updated: 2013-07-29
Packaged: 2017-12-21 16:59:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,508
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/902695
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sariane/pseuds/sariane
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Carol is accidentally turned into a toddler.</p><p>The Avengers are the worst babysitters.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Vertically Challenged

**Author's Note:**

> I promised myself a long, long time ago that I'd never write a de-aged fic. So, obviously, I wrote de-aged fic. 
> 
> Written for CarolCon 2013, an online celebration of Carol Danvers. :)
> 
> For anyone who cares, this story is set sometime after Captain Marvel #1, but before #9.
> 
> Warnings:  
> \- The de-aging is non-consensual, but this fic doesn't talk much about that.

"What is that supposed to be, a Shrink Ray?" Spider-Woman said as she dodged a bright blue blast from today's villain's gun. She sprinted over the pavement of the street, hair flying behind her, as she avoided the beam.

"You know not who you taunt!" the villain screamed at them in typical villain-style.  Carol snorted. She flew into range to draw fire away from Jessica.

"Nah, looks more like a Freeze Ray," Carol said as she shot a blast of energy at him. He dodged it. Hawkeye shot a few arrows, but a blast from the gun and they fell straight down to the street below in pieces.

"My money's on a bedazzler," Hawkeye said, offended.

"For all we know, it could be a disintegration gun," Captain America interrupted. "Stay clear."

"I got it," Carol said, speeding to the side to avoid a blast. It hit the brick building behind her and didn't even leave a mark. With a smirk, she flew closer, intending to hit him hard with a burst of energy -- and her vision went blue.

Carol stopped in midair. She tried to absorb the energy, as she always did, to turn it into firepower, but this was…different. Stunned, Carol landed on the ground on her hands and knees, her head swimming and vision blurring.

"Carol!" Cap shouted, throwing his shield and swiftly taking out the villain with a _whoosh_! He rushed to Carol's side with Spider-Woman close behind.

"Couldn't have done that earlier?" Hawkeye groused as he headed towards the bad guy to secure him before he woke up.

"Carol, are you okay?" Jess asked, kneeling beside Carol.

"I think I --" Carol started, but a wave of nausea overtook her and she leaned over on the sidewalk on her hands and knees. Her vision was swimming, so she closed her eyes. "I think I’m gonna be sick," she said through gritted teeth.

"We need to get you to a doctor," Cap said. Carol opened her mouth to protest, to say that she was only a little dizzy, when she felt her skin tingling all over.

"No, I --" she started, but stopped as she felt her uniform begin to -- to _grow._

Carol clutched at the ground as the sleeves grew bigger around her arms. She passed out.

*

"Aw, she's adorable."

"She is kinda cute."

"Do not underestimate her because of it. Appearances are deceiving, especially when it comes to the young."

"I think she's cute. Don't you agree, Natasha?"

"I'm with Thor. She looks cute _now_ , but everyone looks cute when they sleep. Even Clint."

"I'm offended."

"It's true."

Carol scrunched her eyes up, wishing that the voices would go away. She was so tired, her eyes so heavy, but they were so loud…

"Don't let her hear you calling her cute. This is serious; we have no idea if Carol will --"

"If _what_?" Carol said suddenly, opening her eyes. She found herself on a couch in the Avengers mansion, with Jessica, Steve, Thor, Clint, and Natasha standing above her. Their expressions ranged from vaguely amused to horrified.

"Carol --" Jess started to explain, but she stopped and looked over to Steve, a pleading look on her face.

"You've been de-aged," Steve said gently. Carol blinked.

"What?" she said, her voice squeaking in her ears. She looked down at herself. Her hands were tiny, the fingers and the nails short. She still had baby fat -- _baby fat_ \-- on her arms and legs, and she wore a tiny red shirt and blue pants. When she got to her feet, she was shorter, close to the kneecaps of the Avengers. They looked down at her pityingly.

Carol put her hands up to her face, feeling her face. Someone handed her a mirror. She met eyes that were half-hidden underneath messy blonde hair. She gasped, and the mouth of the tiny, chubby face in the mirror rounded into an _O._

She was a toddler.

She opened her mouth wide and began to cry.

"Oh, I'm out of here," Clint said, backing away. Carol plopped onto the ground and let out a yell, her eyes already filling with hot, fat tears that streamed down her face.

"Oh, no you don't," Natasha said, grabbing his shoulder. "Coward."

Carol slammed her fist on the ground. "No!" she yelled. She _did not_ want to be a toddler.

"Well," Thor said, "now we know that she possess the mind of a child as well as well as the body of one."

"Carol, honey," Jess said, kneeling down in front of her. Her face swam in Carol's vision, big and comforting, but Carol ignored it in favor of screaming wordlessly. "Carol, you're going to be alright. We'll fix this."

"Nooo," Carol moaned, thrashing back and forth.

"You don't have to cry. Do you want candy?" Jessica tried, panic entering her eyes. "We have to have candy around here somewhere."

"I don't want candy," Carol sobbed, "I wanna be a grown-up!"

"Steve," Jessica said out of the corner of her mouth. "Do something. I have no idea how to deal with kids."

"Carol," Steve said, kneeling besides Jessica. Carol quieted a bit, because Steve was _big,_ wasn't he? She'd never realized how big he was. Thor, too. She began to back away, crying even harder. "Everyone, get back, give her some space."

The others reluctantly turned away, giving Steve and Carol room. Carol sobbed as she looked up at him in his bright uniform, his cowl still covering part of his face. He looked ridiculous.

"Carol, I promise you, we'll find a way to change you back," he said, looking into her eyes at her level. She stopped wailing to hear him. "I will do anything to get you back, you hear? And, in the meantime, we're going to take good care of you. We'll keep you safe. Okay?"

Carol took in a shaking breath. Her whole body quivered. She pulled her knees up to her chest and hugged them closer before nodding.

"Okay," Steve said. "Now, before we can help you, you have to help us, okay?" She nodded again. "First," he started, "do you remember being a grown-up?"

"Yeah," she said, brow furrowing, "why d'you think I'm sad?"

"There are lots of reasons," Steve said. "Are you hurt? Do you feel any…" he looked strangled for a second, "…boo-boos?"

She giggled in spite of herself. "Captain 'Merica just said 'boo-boos,'" she giggled.

"I'll take that as a 'no,'" Steve sighed, rubbing the back of his neck. Carol giggled again.

Thor's voice echoed in Carol's tiny ears as he turned to Jessica and said, "Perhaps she _is_ cute."

Carol's face turned red with anger as she jumped up and screamed at Thor, "DON'T CALL ME _CUTE!_ "

*

"I don't wanna stay with you. I wanna go _home,_ " Carol pouted, stomping her foot in the hallway to Jessica's apartment. She crossed her arms stubbornly. Jessica sighed as she fumbled with her key, one arm around a bag of clothes, the other arm laden with bags of toys and groceries. "Someone's gotta feed Chewie."

"You can't go home alone, honey, you're barely four years old," Jessica said. "I called Grandma Rose. She'll feed Chewie. I think." She opened the door and gestured for Carol to go in first. She did, but she dragged her feet against the carpet as slowly as she could.

"I'm not four. I'm thirty-three," Carol protested, "and a _half._ "

"Sure you are, kid," Jess said with a sigh. She shut the door with her foot.

"Stop calling me 'kid,'" Carol scowled.

"You _are_ a kid," Jess snorted. "And you totally wouldn't let me live this down if it was the other way around."

"It totally woulda been, if I hadn't saved your ass," Carol said. She sat down on the rug and tugged her sneakers off. They looked so tiny next to Jessica's heels piled by the door.

"Hey," Jessica snapped, "no swearing. I get it, you're an adult, you know things no four year old should know, but seriously, you're four. Hearing you swear is just…weird." She shivered slightly.

Carol rolled her eyes. "Whatever."

"And now you sound like a teenager," Jessica said, half to herself. "And I probably sound like a mom. This just proves my point. I am never having children." She heaved the bags onto her kitchen table and groaned.

"Wow, thanks."

"Look, kid, we have maybe a week before you change back, if that guy's telling the truth. It will go _much_ faster if we get along. I miss grown-up Carol as much as you do."

Jessica turned to look down at Carol, but she didn't reply. She looked down at her feet, eyes welling up with tears again. She _hated_ being a kid.

"Do I have to child-proof my apartment?" Jessica said, burying her face in her hands. "Please tell me I don't have to. You're, like, thirty in there, even if you don't have the emotional or physical maturity. Please tell me you're mentally thirty."

" _Jeeeeesss,_ I'm hungry," Carol said loudly.

Jessica buried her face in her hands and groaned.

*

Carol was dropped off unceremoniously at the  mansion the next morning.

"That's it," Jessica said, dropping the grocery bag filled with toys, a change of clothes, and a packed lunch. "I'm done. I can't do this anymore."

"It's been a day," Natasha pointed out, standing in the hallway and sipping from a can of pop. Carol frowned at Jessica. She was being totally unfair.

"I don't want kids!" Jess began with a harried look on her face. "I never wanted kids! And I love you, Carol, I really do, but I am _so glad_ I'm not your mom."

"What's going on?" Steve said, walking into the entry hall.

"Jessica has tired of taking care of the child," Thor started, but Carol interrupted him with a stomp of her foot.

The adults in the hallway stilled immediately, terrified of unleashing another temper tantrum.

"I. Am. NOT. A. Child," Carol said frustrated.

"No, you're a pintsized pain in the ass," Jessica growled, "with _superpowers_!" She turned on her heel and slammed the front door shut behind her.

Carol looked from Steve to Thor, then Natasha. "I'm _booooored_ ," she whined.

"And I'm out of here," Natasha said, turning to follow Jessica.

Steve and Thor exchanged a look.

*

_"Wheeeeeeee!"_

Carol screamed on the top of her lungs, waving her hands in the air as her hair flew in the wind. She sat on Steve's broad shoulders while he ran around the mansion's yard at her command.

"Faster!" she yelled, tugging on his hair. To her disappointment, Steve slowed and smoothed his hair down.

"Not if you keep tugging on my hair like that," he frowned. "I'm not a horse."

"Nay, but you make a fine steed nonetheless!" Thor boomed cheerfully from his spot as a spectator, beside the other Avengers that were hanging around the mansion that day.

"Carol, aren't you tired?" Steve said, sweeping her off his shoulders. He tried to set her down, but Carol clung to him and hung off his arm.

"Aww, Steve," she whined, "one more time!"

"That's what you said a half-hour ago," he pointed out. "Let's get some lunch."

Carol tried her best pout on him, but Steve seemed to be immune to it by now. She allowed him to hoist her back onto his shoulders and they headed back to the house, their audience dwindling in disappointment.

"Watch your head," Steve said as they went through the door and into the mansion. Carol clung tightly to him until they reached the kitchen, where she slid down his back and landed on her feet.

"Who ya got there?" said a gruff voice from the kitchen table.

Carol clung to Steve's leg as she spotted Wolverine sitting stretched out with a bottle of beer.

"Danvers?" Logan said. "That you, kid?"

"I'm not a _kid_ ," she said, jumping from behind Steve to glare at Logan. He laughed, his voice low and harsh.

"You make a cute kid," he said. "Still got your powers?" he asked.

Carol's eyes lit up.

She flew up to the ceiling and touched it, giggling all the ways.

"Thanks for that," Steve groaned, "I was hoping she'd take a few more days to figure that part out."

"Look at me, Steve! Look how fast I can go!" Carol whizzed across the ceiling.

"A few more days?" Logan raised an eyebrow. "How long is she stuck like this?" Carol stuck her tongue out at him as she passed.

"Natasha…talked…to the guy behind it, and he said a week. Probably."

"A week?" Logan looked up at Carol as she made another pass, reached up, and grabbed her by the ankle. Giggling, she let him tug her down. "Good luck."

He released Carol on the ground, picked up his beer, and left Steve staring down at Carol.

"I'm hungry," she said. "Can I have ice cream?"

"No," Steve said firmly, "no sugar. We're making…" he trailed off as he looked inside the refrigerator. "PB and Js."

He found a stepstool for Carol and the two of them stood side-by-side at the counter, making a small stack of peanut butter and jelly sandwiches for lunch.

*

"What do you want, Steve? I was just about to --"

"Carol wants you to read her a bedtime story."

"The munchkin? I thought she was staying with Drew?"

"She's…a bit of a handful. I’m trying to get her to sleep, but she demanded a story."

Carol heard Tony snort from the hallway. She crossed her arms and leaned back on the pillows of the bed.

"Please?" Steve said, his voice near pleading. Tony sighed, loudly enough that Carol could hear it, even with the door half-shut.

"I can hear you," Carol yelled. " _Pleeeease?_ "

Tony popped his head into the bedroom to look at her. It was his downfall. She gave him her best puppy dog look, eyes big and pleading, her bottom lip huge.

"Fine," Tony said, pulling his tablet up.

Steve smiled triumphantly as he followed Tony into the bedroom, closing the door behind him.

"You gonna go to sleep if I read to you?" Tony asked.

Carol nodded.

"Yeah," she said, "just read me a story!"

"You promise?" he asked. When she nodded again excitedly, Tony sat on the edge of the big bed beside Carol and brought a children's book up on his tablet.

"The cats nestle close to their kittens," he began, reading from a page with a cute illustration of a kid with some kittens. The bed dipped as Steve sat on the other side, but Carol ignored him and focused on the picture.

"The lambs have laid down with the sheep. You're cozy and warm in your bed, my dear." Tony paused. "Please go the fuck to sleep."

*

Carol woke up with a scream.

She clutched her Hulk plushie to her and pulled the covers over her head to protect herself. She'd seen monsters -- no, they were aliens; she'd fought them back when she was grown up. Skrulls.

Jess had turned into a Skrull in her dream, her skin turning green and her eyes flashing, right before she'd turned on Carol, lifting her hands like claws.

Carol whimpered and curled up into a ball, eyes wide in the pitch darkness under the sheets.

Jess was okay, she told herself. She was okay. She was in Avengers Mansion.

Slowly, Carol peaked over her covers, looking for monsters lurking in the dark corners of the bedroom. She glanced over at the door. It was cracked open, letting a small sliver of light shine in. Out of the corner of her eye, Carol thought she saw something move in the darkness. She held the Hulk plushie in a death grip and glared at the place where she thought she'd seen movement.

"I'm not scared of you," she announced proudly, even though she was. When she didn't see anything else, she jumped out of the bed (far enough that nothing could reach an arm out from under the bed and grab her ankle) and ran out of the door and into the hallway…and into Hawkeye.

"Whoa," Clint said as Carol barreled into him. She let out a shrill shriek and jumped away, glaring up at him.

Clint raised an eyebrow as he looked down at her. She was wearing a big red t-shirt that hung down to her knees to sleep in; it had fit her perfectly when she was older.

"Hey," he said, opening his mouth, probably to make a joke at her expense. But something stopped him as Carol stared up at him, still holding the Hulk plushie tightly, trembling from her nightmare and the shock of running into Clint. "Did you have a nightmare?" he said.

"No," Carol said sharply, drawing herself to her full height.

"Okay," Clint said, amused now. "So, why are you up past your bedtime, kiddo?"

Carol scowled. "I'm…thirsty," she said.

"We'll get you some water," he said, "or milk, or a juice box, or whatever it is kids drink. Come on," he said, turning towards the kitchen. Carol hesitated to follow him, but when she glanced back at her bedroom and into the darkness, she thought she saw something in the shadows. She scurried off after Clint, her bare feet cold against the wood floors.

"Milk?" Clint said when he opened the refrigerator door. "Maybe there're some cookies, if Thor hasn't eaten them all up…"

She watched suspiciously as Clint filled two glasses of milk and poured some Oreos onto a plate. Carol followed him into the lounge and watched at the edge of the room as he sat on the couch and dunked an Oreo into his milk.

"You coming?" he asked, looking at her expectantly.

"I'm waiting for the punchline," she said plainly, looking down at the cookies.

Clint screwed up his face. "Orange you glad I didn't say banana?" he tried. Very resolutely, Carol did not giggle. "Nah? Come on, kid, they're cookies. You eat them. Or did you not know how to eat when you were four?"

"I know how to eat," Carol protested. She kneeled in front of the coffee table and took a cookie, carefully dunking it in the milk for "one one-thousand, two one-thousand, three one-thousand," before taking a bite.

Clint slid off the couch and joined her.

"Cookie or crème?" he asked as he picked up an Oreo.

"Crème!" Carol said. She grabbed an Oreo and twisted the halves apart to lick the crème filling.

"Good choice," Clint nodded, copying her. After a few minutes of silence, he reached for the remote and turned on the television, flipping through channels until he found some old action movie.

"This is probably too mature for you," he said as a car exploded. "But it's this or infomercials."

Carol rolled her eyes and climbed up onto the couch with the plate of cookies.

*

"She needs a bath," Jessica said to Clint, Natasha, and Steve as Carol tromped into the lounge with mud splattered up her arms and legs. Thor had taken a likening to going to the park with Carol.

At the word “bath,” Carol shrieked zipped into the air, her hair flying straight out behind her as she zoomed towards the ceiling.

"Carol!" Jessica yelled after her, following her down the hallway. Steve and Natasha followed her, vaguely amused looks on their faces. "You're dirty. Come on, don’t you want to get clean?"

"No!" Carol yelled, hovering by the ceiling.

"Come on," she said, "it'll be fun. I'll buy you ice cream?" she offered.

Hesitantly, Carol lowered herself to the ground, but didn't move towards Jessica.

"Steve said no sugar," she said suspiciously, narrowing her eyes.

"Steve's got a stick up his -- bottom," Jessica said. Natasha smirked.

"Hey!" Steve protested.

"You totally do," Jessica muttered. "Come on, Carol. We can get triple chocolate. Your favorite!"

"With sprinkles?" Carol said, her jaw set. Jessica nodded.

"Yeah, come on, you just --"

"Gotcha!" Clint said from the other end of the hallway, picking up an armful of squirming child. Carol kicked at him, but he didn't let go. She considered using her powers, but she didn't want to hurt him. He was only human, after all.

She struggled as Clint carried her down the hallway and into the bathroom.

"Okay,” Jessica said as she turned on the tap and put the plug in the bathtub. "So, who --?"

Steve ducked back out into the hallway, leaving Jessica with Clint and Natasha.

"No way," Clint said. He dropped Carol, who rushed around him and towards the door. Jessica got there first and shut it, bracing it against Carol.

"She doesn't listen to me," Jessica groaned. "Please?"

"But he's a _boy!_ " Carol said.

"She has a point," Natasha sighed.

Carol glared at Jessica. "I don't want a bath," she grumbled.

"I thought it was boys who were supposed to hate baths, anyways," Clint said.

"That's sexist," Jessica said, glaring at him as well.

Carol jumped forward and punched him in the leg, yelling "GIRL POWER!"

"Ow, you little --" silenced with a glare from Jessica, Clint shook his head. "I'm out," he said, stepping around Carol and through the door before she could escape.

"Natasha," Jessica said, eyes lighting up.

"No," she said. "I'm not--"

"Thank you," Jessica said, shoving Carol in Natasha's direction and slipping through the door. "Good luck!" she said before she shut it.

Natasha looked Carol up and down. She was muddy and dirty, with something sticky in her hair, ketchup on her face, and grass stains on her knees.

"Get in the tub," Natasha said, her lips twisting to the side in disgust. " _Now._ "

Carol met Natasha's glare for another moment before she peeled her dirty clothes off and dove into the tub, splashing Natasha with water.

The Black Widow crossed her arms and fixed Carol down with an icy stare until she had scrubbed behind her ears.

*

Thor and Carol stopped at the edge of the playground. Thor got down on one knee to look Carol in the eye. She met his gaze with a stubborn spark in her eyes.

"Do not forget yourself, young one, and use your powers," he reminded her sternly.

"Fine, Thor," Carol sighed, "can I go swing?"

"Aye," Thor nodded, but Carol set off running at top speed before the word was even out of his mouth. She scrambled over the smelly mulch to the swing set and snagged a swing right before a boy about her age could.

"Hey!" he said, "that was mine!"

"You snooze, you lose," Carol smirked, pushing herself off the ground.

" _Girls,_ " the boy sighed, crossing his arms and glaring at Carol. He shook his head as he turned around and walked away from the swings.

Carol stopped swinging.

"Hey!" she yelled, "what about girls?" The rest of the kids filling the swing set stopped and looked at Carol, then the boy, to see if he would take the bait.

He did.

"Girls SUCK!" he yelled back at Carol, turning and clenching his hands into tiny fists. (The girl beside her whispered, "Oooh, he said a bad word.")

Carol took a step towards him away from the swing, but she didn't let the chains slide through her fingers. He closed the distance between them to glare at her.

" _You_ suck," she said coolly. A few of the other kids _ooooh_ -ed.

"Oooh, I’m so scared," the boy said, smirking in Carol's face.

"You should be," she said, balling her hands into fists. He laughed and crossed his arms.

"You can't hurt me," he said confidently. "You're too small. Girls can't hit."

Carol brought her fists up and said, "We'll see who --"

"That is enough, small ones," Thor interrupted her, separating the two and holding Carol back before she could punch the kid.

"He started it," Carol said immediately. The boy stuck his tongue out at her, but he froze with a look from Thor.

"You are not devoid of guilt, child," Thor said. "This one may seem small and harmless, but she is as fierce a warrior as any other, man or woman. You would do well to remember that as you grow older."

Faintly, Carol heard one of the other kids staring at them from the swing set whisper, "Is that _Thor_?"

"Go play elsewhere," Thor said, gently pushing Carol from the boy. She looked over her shoulder before she ran off towards the slide. The boy ran off in the opposite direction to join some of his friends at the monkey bars.

Carol watched from the end of the line at the slide as the kid's Mom walked up to Thor. They talked for a moment before they shook hands. Carol glared over at the boy at the monkey bars, but he ignored her in favor of showing off how he could skip bars.

She slid down the slide at top speed, whooping as her hair rushed behind her, and landed with a _fwump_ in the dirt. Giggling, Carol got to her feet and set her sights on the sandbox.

A half hour later, Carol dragged Thor by the hand towards the sandbox to show off her creation.

"Come _on,_ Thor, _faster,_ " she said, pulling on his arm with both hands. Thor smiled and took his time until they reached the edge of the sandbox. He knelt down to get a better look at it.

Carol jumped back into the sandbox and brushed sand off her hands, smiling proudly at her handiwork.

It was Asgard, immortalized in sand, made out of childishly shaped towers with twigs sticking out of them.

"It's Asgard!" Carol said excitedly, "and this is the rainbow bridge." She pointed to where she had carefully drawn lines in the sand like a rainbow. It led to another Tower, presumably Stark's, which another kid was working on. (Her name was Annabelle, she was six, and she was going to marry Spider-Man when she grew up.)

"It is perfect," Thor said. "A majestic beauty! Worthy of many great yet tiny sand gods." Carol jumped up and down at his side.

"I had to save it from being trampled -- _twice,_ " she bubbled.

"As have I," Thor sighed. He patted her on the head. Carol grinned up at him as he measured her height against his leg. " It appears you are even taller than when I last set eyes on you," he said contemplatively. “We should return to the mansion.”

"They grow up so fast, don't they?" a nearby mom smiled at Thor.

"Aye," he said seriously as Carol took his hand and reluctantly began to follow him out of the park, "that is what we hope."

He scooped her up into his arms and she wrapped her arms around his neck, resting her cheek on his shoulder as he carried her home.

*

"So, what, the rugrat's got to grow a few years?" Tony said, waving his hands as he spoke.

"Thirty of them," Steve clarified. "And in the space of a day or so, if our intel is right." He glanced at Natasha.

"It's right," Natasha said.

"I'm right _here_ ," Carol reminded them. "What's gonna happen?"

"Looks like you're growing up, kiddo," Jessica said. "Finally," she sighed. Carol pinched her leg in retaliation.

"I shall miss you, young Carol," Thor said sadly. “You are a valiant young lady, the likes of which I have never met."

"I think I'm going to puke," Tony said as Carol hugged Thor tightly.

"It just figures that Thor is the only one here who's good with kids," Jessica sighed, blowing her hair out of her eyes.

"They are merely smaller versions of people," Thor said as he picked up Carol and spun her around. "Small of stature as well as mind, but not small of heart."

"Again!" Carol squealed when Thor stopped spinning. Thor smiled and acquiesced.

"I don't think I'll miss having a kid around, though," Natasha said aside to Jessica.

"Me, neither," Jessica muttered.

"I can still hear you," Carol said. She wriggled in Thor's arms until he let her go. She set her hands on her hips and glared up at Jess and Natasha.

"Oh, god," Jessica said, her face shutting down as she looked at Carol, eyes wide.

"What is it?" Steve asked in concern.

"She's like, five right now, right?" Tony, who'd been making estimations with his computer, nodded. "So," Jessica said slowly, waiting for them all to get it, "when she grows up, she's going to have to go through her teenage years _all over again._ "

Carol stared up at the adults as they all stood in silence, staring first at Jessica, then her. Carol crossed her arms and scowled.

"Yeaaaaah," Tony said, "good luck with that."

Jessica turned to protest, but Tony was already out of the room, and Natasha was nowhere to be seen.

"I have other matters to which I must attend," Thor said quickly, the door swinging shut behind him.

Jess looked at Steve and scowled.

"You should call Clint," he suggested, backing from the room. "He's mentoring Kate Bishop He can deal with teenagers."

"You had a teenaged side-kick!" Jessica protested, "Come on!"

She sighed before she looked back down at Carol, who glared ferociously, yet silently.

"Come on, kid," Jessica sighed. "We're calling Clint."

*

Carol woke up with a huge headache and tiny clothing.

"Ugh," she said, looking down at the tight, 10-year-old sized t-shirt and sweats. They were ripped slightly, and cutting off her circulation. "Is this how the Hulk feels?"

She found a pair of fresh, adult-sized clothes on the bedside table, changed into them, and took a moment to look around. She was in a bedroom in the mansion…her bedroom, it seemed, complete with crayon and colored pencil drawings of the Avengers tacked up on the wall, tiny clothes and toys littered everywhere, and art supplies everywhere.

Carol took a deep breath and stretched, relishing the ache in her muscles and the feeling of being over four feet again.

"Hey," Jessica said, poking her head into the room. "You're back."

"I never left," Carol said.

"Yeah," Jess stepped into the bedroom and smiled a little. "You just got smaller."

"Don't remind me," Carol sighed, looking around the room at the mess she'd made. "I feel like I went to bed at ten and woke up at thirty."

"Ugh, did your sense of humor shrink, too?" Jess made a face. Carol laughed.

"Come on, help me clean up this mess," Carol said, nudging Jessica with her elbow.

They began to clean up, folding clothes into a hamper and boxing the toys away (and if Carol snuck her Hulk plushie into her bag, Jessica pretended not to notice).

Carol stopped when she found a drawing on the wall that she remembered drawing with Steve. She'd drawn him as Captain America in childish, messy proportions, and he’d drawn her as Captain Marvel right beside him. With a glance at Jessica, Carol folded up the drawing and stuck it in her pocket.

"Hey," Jessica said softly, and Carol definitely _didn't_ jump, thinking she’d been caught being sentimental. "Um," Jess paused awkwardly, pushing her hair away from her face. "I'm sorry for…for yelling at you and stuff when you were a kid."

"And I'm sorry for being a brat," Carol said. She grinned.

"You're not really sorry," Jess sighed.

"Kids will be kids," Carol said with a smirk, and Jessica threw an Iron Man action figure at her.

*

Carol had barely had time to sit on her couch and curl up with the television remote and Chewie before her phone began to chirp. She picked it up, ignoring her cat's angry _meorrrw_ as she leaned over him, and unlocked her phone's screen. It was a message from Steve.

 _For posterity,_ it read. _Please don't kill us._

Steve had sent her pictures.

The first was of her and Jess, sitting on Jess' couch, playing dolls with the Avengers action figures Tony had "just lying around." (There may have been a wedding.) The next was of her asleep with a tiny stuffed Hulk plushie underneath her arm.

There was a picture of her and Steve eating lunch, both of them with milk moustaches, and the two of them playing piggyback in the yard. She hadn't noticed Steve taking a picture of Tony reading his (age-inappropriate) bedtime story to her.

Someone had managed to get a snapshot of her and Clint passed out on the couch, her tiny arms curled around Clint. Natasha had even taken one of her in the tub with a beard made of soap suds (for blackmail purposes, presumably). Thor had a few of her on the playground, hanging upside down from the monkey bars.

Carol scrolled through the pictures on her phone and let out a strangled laugh as she made it to the end.

The last picture was of her in a tiny Captain Marvel costume. She was posed on Steve and Jessica's shoulders, fists bared, ready to take on the world.

Carol couldn't help but smile.

**Author's Note:**

> Tony's story is 'Go the Fuck to Sleep' by Adam Mansbach.


End file.
